Appreciating the Simple Pleasures of Not Eating Sourdough Ice Cream

Episode 71: Tim talks about how nice it is to realize that expensive hobbies aren't worth the money. Then, Babe orders vanilla ice cream from Sassy Sally's local ice cream parlor.~Babe had tried the sourdough years ago and didn’t like it, like everyone else. He liked the chocolate alright, but it couldn’t compete with the vanilla. And every Wednesday, for almost as long as he had lived in the small town, Babe had walked to Sally’s ice cream parlor and...

Jorge Wants to Learn to Unicycle (The Most Majestic of All the Art Forms)

Episode 70: Tim laments his dear friend Moe, who is compassionate and makes Tim feel appreciated. What an asshole.Then, Jorge wants to learn how to unicycle (the most majestic of all the art forms) but knows that one cannot do anything they are not good at. His ignorant friend Rafael, however, makes the dire mistake of believing one can better themselves.~Jorge waved away Rafael’s words. “Do not be ridiculous. You cannot buy a unicycle just as I cannot buy a...

Hagrid Is Upset About Hogwarts' New Landscaping

Episode 69: Tim talks about his disgust with the Harry Potter movie franchise and its insistence on making him feel inadequate.  Then, he shares a recreation of a conversation he heard many years ago while hiding behind a curtain in Hollywood. It was a conversation between the higher ups of the Harry Potter movie franchise before they began filming the third movie, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. ~I’ve never worked for a casting agency, so I cannot imagine...

Dropping Rs to Fit In with Felons

Episode 68: Tim talks about his time running food in Boston and describes the thickening of his accent to ingratiate himself with the locals.~The building housing the restaurant I worked at was previously a saddle and bridle store, they also sold other leather goods having to do with horses, whatever other leather goods there are to do with horses, but only saddle and bridle made it into the store’s name. Apparently it took until 2013 for the owner of said saddle and bridle store to realize that most people had given...

Mansplaining Rocket Science to a Rocket Scientist

Episode 67: Tim unveils his new conversational tactics: Contribution Sharing and Mansplaining. Then, Jeff takes it upon himself to educate an educated dinner party on their own professions.~The rocket scientist who was seated across the table from Jeff leaned forward. “Are you a food critic?” she asked. “Is that why you introduced the meal as well.”Jeff waved his hand. “Oh no,” he said. “Not a food critic. Actually, I suppose you could call me that. Yes, I do have an intimate relationship with food. I am very...

Winifred's Asshole Cousin Wilbur

Episode 66: Tim, a failure once again, turns the reins of Tim Drugan's Story Time over to his illustrious pup Winifred in her second time sharing her thoughts on the podcast. Winifred uses the opportunity to talk about her French Bulldog cousin named Wilbur and expound upon his shortcomings.The first episode provided by Winifred can be found here, or simply scroll back to Episode 19 of Tim Drugan's Story Time.~My cousin Wilbur is an...

Dust: Chapter 34- Final

Episode 65: The sheriff deals with the bodies. End of Dust. If you enjoy westerns like True Grit or The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, check out Tim’s western novel, Dust, available on Amazon in eBook form in addition to being read on the podcast. For other resources, visit timdrugan.com.

Tony Isn't a Pelican, But He Can Play That Role

Episode 64: Tim talks about his favorite novel, Straight Man by Richard Russo, and discusses one of his favorite aspects of the book: how the main character, William Henry Devereaux Jr. often says the phrase "I'm not a BLANK, but I can play that role." In the process, Tim chides the listener for watching Reality Television.Later, in the story, Tony is a man who repeatedly goes to the hospital for mercury poisoning because pelicans eat lots of tuna. And while Tony may not be a pelican, he can play that role.~Later, at the...

Dust: Chapter 33

Episode 63: The old man asks the sheriff to shoot him rather than hang him. If you enjoy westerns like True Grit or The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, check out Tim’s western novel, Dust, available on Amazon in eBook form in addition to being read on the podcast. For other resources, visit...

Pray the Straight Away

Episode 62: Tim talks about his dear friend Ross, a man who frequents the park where Tim walks his charming, leash-aggressive pup Winifred. Ross (Tim's delightful friend) holds an affinity for calling Tim a faggot. And then, to turn the tables (as a table turner) on the history of Pray the Gay Away camps and humanity's storied history of homophobia, Tim shares a story about two heterosexual students pulled into the principal's office to discuss their disgusting habit.~Sue leaned forward. “We’re not choosing,” she said to...